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Tracy & Tammy

Can technology and good ole' fashion face-to-face mix?

A colleague was recently at a professional conference with dynamic speakers and participants from far and wide. He came home feeling empty and unfulfilled. He described the use of technology during the event as excessive given that everyone was in the same room. People were not given the time or permission to dialogue with each other – they, instead, had to tweet their reactions. He groaned at the thought of putting his complex musings, stimulated by the dynamic speakers, into snippets of 140 characters or less.

At the same time – technology can add rich connections, creative twists to the ordinary and innovative sparks to learning and sharing. In fact, technology can actually build a profound sense of community among people around the world or down the block.

As community developers and group facilitators, we constantly search for tools that will help us spark a group into dialogue and inspired action. Sometimes these tools are props (like rose coloured glasses or devils forks) and sometimes they are high tech. We’ve played around a lot, some examples include smartboard technology, new powerpoint techniques, wordle.net, facebook, and surveymonkey - all with various degrees of success.

Tracy recently become the owner of an iphone and wondered if the app world had anything to offer. An app (application), downloaded onto a smart phone, is NOT going to facilitate a meeting, lead a workshop or mobilize social change. It might, however, give community developers and group facilitators a tool or two to kick start a group conversation, dig deeper and more creatively into complex issues and maybe even help to synthesize ideas into action. We thought we’d put the world of apps to the test! When we find some apps that have some community developer appeal – we will try them out and write reviews here on our blog.

Lets start with basic reading and reference resources. These are nuggets of information that are not necessarily interactive. Not having an ipad – the thought of reading a whole book on the iphone makes the eyes start squinting!  We downloaded three free reference books that caught our eye.  Following is our reviews:

Cloudbook: How Cross-boundary Collaboration is Transforming Business. This ebook written in 2009 by van Ommeren, Duivestein, deVadoss, Reijnen and Gunvaldson is literally 248 pages in an electronic form. We would have loved a way to jump around the book quickly – chasing the concepts that resonated with us most. It requires a lot of work to translate their business messages about change and collaboration to the social sector. Chapter 5 has some thoughtful content on collaboration and the mediums that we have used historically and those that we should concentrate on to improve collaborative efforts.  Interesting to note that our postal system has strong roots from 2400 BC!  Learning about information sharing is key in community development – and the faster technology influences how we share that information, the more we have to read to stay informed! Interesting read - but on an iphone – only in small doses!

Collaboration is King. This app is like shopping at Winners. There are some decent items on the rack but you have to take the time to sift and search. This app contains information about how to find collaborative ideas online, collaborative tips and tricks, online collaboration and more.  It is made up of, a collection of blog titles with links to the actual site, of which some of the links don’t lead anywhere. Once we get a couple of nuggets, this one likely won’t be saved on the phone.

Unleashing the Super Ideavirus (lite/free) version.  We love how Seth Godin has combined text, graphics and video in this “vook.”  The lite version only contains two of the 18 chapters available, the full version costs $4.99.  Each chapter has a great 45 - 90 second video clip including Seth Godin speaking to the chapter concepts.  The text is also scattered with hyperlinks to help explain background and context or…to be honest, to lose yourself in cyperspace. One link was for a Mona Lisa reference which took us to the Louvre website, which then had us planning a trip to Paris! The concept for this book is about marketing ideas (not products). “An idea that just sits there is worthless. But an idea that moves and grows and infects everyone it touches…that’s an ideavirus.”

Looking forward to reviewing other apps. We have found some on visioning, some related to group facilitation and lots that support creative thinking.  Stay tuned!

Village Raising Question

What’s your favourite “work” app?

The Key to Kids NOT Crime

The time and investment going into reacting to gang violence is shocking. People talk about harder sentence and expanding the judicial system in response to these activities. These discussions are reactive with no consideration or value placed on the power of prevention.

The real way to make a societal difference is to prevent criminal behaviours happening in the first place. We know from brain research that what happens in a child's first years of life sets the life trajectory for a person's behaviour, health and overall productivity in society.

Gang violence is related to feelings of belonging, attachment and lifestyle choices. When children have a positive start in life, when their families receive the support they need, when nurturing environments exist across socioeconomic spectrums that support healthy child development - our children will be less likely to grow up into disengaged and disenfranchised youth who seek the connections that gangs offer.

The recently released Kids and Crime report commissioned by the Vancouver Board of Trade (link) re-iterated that “research-based early intervention programs are effective at impacting criminological risk factors associated with crime and thus, they prevent or reduce criminality.”

The costs speak for themselves. It has been documented that when we invest our time and energy and money into very young children, the return on a $1 investment is $16 in savings from our judicial, welfare, education and health systems. The Kids & Crime report claims that for a youth of 18 years who drops out of high school and gets caught up in heavy drug use and criminal activity – it costs society between 2.6 and 5.3 million US dollars.

Aggressive behaviour occurs in children right from birth. The kicks! The bites! The hits! For most children, they learn to control their emotions and use their words before their bodies. These early years are the time to focus on children, allowing them to learn the fundamentals of social interaction. We know that those who fail to learn these lessons – end up in societies troubling statistics. A report titled Early Learning Prevents Youth Violence (link) by the Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development outlines clearly the role of human aggression and the consequences of uncontrolled behaviour.

Yes we need to be mindful of those who already have gone down a destructive path in life - but NOT without looking "upstream" to find ways to prevent the next round of children and youth falling into the same traps. Where does it start? At the very beginning - with families and the communities that support them to raise healthy children and youth that will make positive life choices because they have grown up feeling valued and with a sense of belonging.




Village Raising Question


What are your reactions to the Kids and Crime or Early Learning Prevents Youth Violence reports?
link

Village Raising – Strength style!

“What makes you feel strong?”

Imagine being asked this question at the start to every team, organizational or community meeting you attended. Then, what if you are given the space and time to speak what strengthens you! Nice, right? Take this one step further and imagine your strength declaration being directly applied to a plan that moves forward the work at hand. Tis’ this not the energized life and work we seek?

Although it may not be practical to partake in a full strengths discovery in every meeting – strengths can be incorporated in some way into every kind of meeting. Each person is full of strengths and carries them everywhere they go. Strengths are part of our DNA if you will. We do not hang our strengths up on a coat rack when we enter a meeting room or work zone and leave them behind (although we may not be using them to their fullest). For us at Raising the Village, we often hear that people struggle with how to take their personal strength knowledge and use it beyond a level of general or self awareness. People are looking for ways to bring their strengths to the bigger picture – to their teams, organizations and communities!

We offer 7 concrete examples that focus on how you can take your group’s strengths (both individual and collective strengths) and actually integrate them into action.

1. Use strengths directly in your action plan to put some momentum behind your projects. “This is going to get done by making full use of [insert strength here]”.

2. Examine strengths alongside local research data. See what your community is really good at and USE those things to address any challenges or to compliment what the research says.

3. Bring a community strength list out during times of conflict or territorial issues between partners. Ask the group how the strengths can be used to help solve tricky ‘working together” problems or to determine which “roles” to play in decision making processes.

4. Look at challenges/projects with different perspectives. For example, ask: What is the benefit of looking at this through a strength lens of [insert strength here]? What would an [insert strength word here] view say?

5. To encourage creative thinking – put the group’s strength words into a hat. With a clearly defined challenge or issue on the table, pull out a couple of strengths and force some associations between them. This will help to think about the challenge in a new way.

6. Use strengths in evaluating what works. Have a space on meeting evaluation forms that asks people; “How did you use your strengths in today’s meeting?” Be brave enough to also ask; “If you did not use your strengths today…why not?”

7. Build confidence in your community by focusing on what jazzes people up. Strengths can be recognized and celebrated in an ongoing way. Consider a visual display of strengths (individual and community) in your meeting room, place of work or gathering spot.

Good ole Law of Attraction states that we tend to create what we focus on the most. Besides, honouring people for who they are and what they bring, incorporating strengths into our organizational or community cultures make it easier and safer for people to offer up their best. Using our strengths creates a vibrant personal life which in turn feeds into vibrant villages (and vice versa). It’s this work that strengthens individuals and communities and keeps strengths off the coat rack.

Village Raising Questions:
What’s important about sharing our strengths?
What strengths are you ready to offer up more intentionally?
How might you do this in a collective way?

Navigating the River (of data & dialogue)

Photo Copyright TSmyth

The word dialogue comes from the root words dia (meaning through) and logos (the word). It gives the image “of a river of meaning flowing around and through each participant” (Bohm, 1991).

Depending on the facilitator’s comfort zone, the topic and who’s in the room, that river could be a meandering trickle or a white water rush. A guide or method to approach holding a dialogue can sometimes be a welcome relief to a group facilitator as well as to participants (sort of like bringing a life jacket on your wet adventure).

In Raising the Village (2009), we dedicate a chapter to dialogue – how to create space for it, how to ask those phenomenological questions that rock everyone’s world, and how that leads to constructing a collective relevance. In community, dialogue can provide the opportunity to create shared meaning, to learn from each member of a group, and to jointly explore an issue. It is very different from discussion or debate, which includes both problem solving and seeking closure.  The issues that early years community developers tackle in community are complex and multi-factoral.

The Institute of Cultural Affairs created a method for guiding groups from discussion into dialogue.  It is called ORID and while a funny acronym that rhymes with horrid, it, on the contrary, may just help avoid a horrid meeting!

Each step in the method takes a group into a deeper level of conversation. It allows people to process and contribute their thoughts systematically. One excellent example of its use is for early years community developers who are faced with facilitating conversations around local data such as the Early Development Indicator. Without a guide to help “navigate the river of logos,” groups can be overwhelmed with complex information.

After some information is presented to the group, a facilitator can apply the ORID process. The first stage is OBJECTIVE. This level resists getting wrapped up in opinions and interpretations and focuses solely on the information. Questions for this stage might include:

What phrases or ideas from the presentation stood out for you?

What factual statements can you make based on the data?

The next step is to allow participants to be REFLECTIVE and contribute their initial reactions, both positive and negative.

Questions for this stage might include:

What gives you concern?  What gives you hope?

What encouraged you? What discouraged you?

How does this make you feel?

The third level towards dialogue is INTERPRETIVE. This now requires some critical thinking skills. Participants will be paddling into meaning making, finding value and significance. Questions at this stage may include:

What does this mean for the work we do together?

What new insights do you have?

What areas of need seem to arise?

Finally, the group reaches a DECISIONAL level in which collective opinion on next steps is the goal. A good question for this stage is:

How will we apply what we have talked about here today?

What are our proposed next steps?

Participants aren’t necessarily aware of the ORID process. When it has a free-flowing feeling, participants stay more activity engaged in the content instead of getting sidetracked with a structure. A strong facilitator will allow the questions of each stage to propel the conversation forward allowing participants to co-construct meaning in their logos.  

May your river of meaning be safely navigated!

Village Raising Question

In what situations do you see your community using the ORID process?

Derailed by Group Dynamics – get back on track!

Last week we shared a “real life” facilitator learning moment that sent us back to the books for reminders on group facilitation. Here are some tips we discovered that might help prevent being derailed by group dynamics.

1. In his book, The Secrets of Facilitation, author Michael Wilkinson offers tips for dealing with behaviors in a group. Catch participants being positively engaged and give them some attention, a head nod, a smile, or get them to have the floor to share an experience. People are more likely to engage if they feel they are contributing and offering to the process. Ask for their thoughts.

2. In the book The Skilled Facilitator, Roger Schwarz talks about two sets of knowledge and skills that assist a facilitator to help intervene in group dynamics. First, you need to know what type of behavior to look for…the ones that reflect key dynamics of the effectiveness of a group. Establish quick ground rules with every group- as the key way to know and identify a behavior that is in contrast of agreed upon principles. Second, a process for diagnosis is needed…figure out how you will observe and make sense of behavior. Facilitators have to deal with high-level inference (such as control and trust) that cannot be observed directly but must be inferred. The next steps are to decide whether, how and why to intervene. If you do intervene describe the observed behavior in an open and non judging way and share your intent in addressing the dynamic.

One of the learning’s we have taken away from our “de-railed” group facilitation is to remain grounded ourselves, stay curious with others, and clarify any behaviors that may be rippling in the room.

Raising the Village Question:

What are the behaviors that best boost a collaborative spirit? How might you discuss this regularly with your community group?

Group Facilitators – practice the art of letting go.

In life there are certainly times we have to learn to “let go”- of things, people, or circumstances. Take a search through a local library and you will find numerous books giving advice on how to “let go” on many topics and issues; grief, relationships, medical circumstances, stress, fears, addictions and phobias. For some, “letting go” signifies a time of healing, personal change, and transformative growth. 

Facilitators, group leaders and instructors benefit greatly from practicing the art of letting go. Part and parcel of letting go, however, is making sure that we capture and internalize the lessons.

We were recently presenting two workshops, back to back. The first one was to our peers (fellow Early Years Community Developers). We were excited to share our thinking and our approach (highly grounded in adult learning principles) by engaging participants in constructing knowledge. This philosophy results in highly interactive Village Raising workshops.  As we tapped into the energy in the room, we perceived a participant or two as being un-engaged with the information and activities we were presenting. On this particular day (for a slew of reasons) it was enough to take us completely off our game. We allowed our perceptions to change our workshop flow and timing, sap our enthusiasm and question ourselves. As veterans of group facilitation, we are aware of many different ways to react when folks are un-engaged, but somehow being with our peers on this day, changed our response. We left the first workshop feeling we had not fully played to our strengths or provided the space for optimum connection and Village Raising…big time bummer. So what are two group facilitators to do? Blame others and get defensive? Curl up in the fetal position? Or…practice that art of letting go? We chose the latter.

Luckily we had an evening between the first and second workshops. In that time, we worked hard at identifying what happened. We discovered, through participant evaluations, that the workshop was still highly regarded by the majority of people. In order to learn, grow and then build our confidence back – we employed strategies of letting go.

We...

• Accepted that it is impossible to meet everyone’s expectations (the 10/80/10 principle) and that people engage in different ways.
• Readjusted our timing and content to allow us to achieve a higher level of energy and participation sooner in the workshop.
• Celebrated the positive evaluation comments and allowed those to inform our reflections and give us the foundation to build from. “We want to give more…(you insert here)”.
• Asked ourselves: How do we want to act that is consistent with our Village Raising vision? What really matters about this workshop/meeting? We re-confirmed our focus.
• Laughed and laughed and laughed. At ourselves, at our vulnerabilities and at life’s unexpected lessons.
• Allowed ourselves the time to process, learn and then “let it go”…

The following day we delivered essentially the same workshop to a group of people who were our “target” audience. It was a phenomenal day, filled with deep sharing, a-ha moments and positive energy. As co-facilitators we found our chemistry, rhythm and presence. Sure there were probably a couple of people that were less engaged than the masses – but we were able to avoid being derailed by them and continued on the right path of delivering a meaningful experience for the rest.

            

When life throws you a curve ball, pay attention, be open, learn from it and let go.

Village Raising Question:

What group “curve balls” can you more intently learn from… and then let go of?

Watch next week for tips from other authors that help prevent being derailed by group dynamics.

Be a Mischief-maker

Be a Mischief-maker!
Photo Copyright Tammy Dewar

We are huge Seth Godin fans. His little nuggets of counter-intuitive thinking evoke something deeply motivating and, to be honest, uncomfortable. His opinions shoot out like little burrs that get stuck in the brain and, frankly, bug us until we translate his “business” and “marketing” focused brilliance into something that is relevant as community developers.

His book “Tribes” appealed first because of the title with it’s very village-like sound.  For the first two/thirds, we found it validating and aligned with our penchant towards change and innovation; it was like preaching to the converted. By the time we got to the last 100 pages we were feverish with anticipation to sink our teeth into something.  He did not disappoint.

After closing the book we were determined to be more of a mischief-maker than I ever was before. He convinced us that leadership requires more bravery and if we want to change things, improve things and create a better future…we simply have to do things differently than what has been done before.

“If you are not over the top, you’re not going to have any chance at all of making things happen.”  (pg 86)

When we look around at the work done in the area of the early years and the people who have done the work, we want to celebrate the consistent, focused, caring diligence of these individuals who GET it (that our society can prevent many social issues by investing in quality early years for children). We are also compelled to shout out a call to action: Let’s not work our tails off to maintain the status quo! 

Usually fear gets in the way of positive change. Along with fear of the unknown (which takes a little confidence) there is the fear of being criticized. Lets not worry about potential criticism when we make great things happen. Lets reframe criticism as an earned “ badge of honour” because it means we have blown away people’s expectations. Let’s raise a little mischief and start being remarkable.

Village Raising Question:

How can you create something that critics will criticize because it challenges the status quo?

Sparkling Dream Catcher

Photo Copyright - Tammy Dewar

Think not of the things you do well but of the things you are proud of, the things that instinctively put a spring in your step or a song in your heart. (Raising the Village, 2009).

This statement takes me back to a time when I facilitated a young parent group. Picture a diverse group of young mothers gathered around a table in a school room, unsure of their connection to each other, or the parenting group. Intent on getting to the heart of working together, questions were posed such as, “What would you like to share with each other? How can we share things that matter to us?” Quiet was the response... until one girl spoke up.

“I can make dream catchers.”
“Awesome! What’s important about making dream catchers?” I asked.

This mother proceeded to tell the group how it was an important part of her culture and how she had made a special dream catcher to hang above her child’s crib to ward off bad dreams and bring restful sleep (and you know that statement has an impact on any new parent)!

This intimate disclosure of parental love was the spark to get the group ideas flowing. One by one, the participants expressed areas that fired them up- the sharing was phenomenal. Future meetings were planned based on identified strengths which brought personal meaning to each participant. The dream catcher session was a highlight! A group of young mothers gathered in a circle making dream catchers filled with colour and love for their children. As the young parent led the group that day, she not only instructed others how to weave and twine the materials around the rim, she sparkled with a deep inner confidence that was powerful to witness. The opportunity to teach her crafting skill (and something close to her heart) with the other parents seemed to take her to a place that was rich in belief – belief in herself and her talents. What resulted was a group connection woven through the dream catchers and the people... providing a feeling of voice, unity and strength.
Tammy

Village Raising Question

What makes you sparkle with confidence? How might you share your “dream catcher” sparkle with others in your community? Notice how this might build a collective strength.

Note: This story is edited and adapted based on a story in our book Raising the Village (2009).

Kitchen Table Meetings

Picture some parents gathered in the kitchen, fresh cuppa joe in hand, children playing independently in the next room. Nice, comfy, homey…Now picture how their conversation will change the way governments set policy, how families access services and how their needs as parents are better met. The CARS Process can do just that. CARS – acronym for Communities Achieving Responsive Services is a model for meaningful community consultation.

Growing out of a grass roots movement in northern Ontario, CARS co-founders Carol Gott and Jane Wilson have developed a series of steps to assist communities to build responsive, accessible services and supports for their own community members.  CARS is a community owned and community directed process that can be used to both improve how well present services respond to the needs of people and to help communities develop services that they presently don’t have – but need.

Armed with some templates and fact sheets (all available on the website www.carsprocess.ca), parents are encouraged to gather their voice. Some of the people that access services do not normally attend large community forums. They need small, informal gatherings to safely and honestly discuss their needs and to allow them to be both service “users” as well as service “leaders.”

The Kitchen Table meetings are step two of the CARS’ comprehensive ten steps towards working for change. The process goes beyond just stakeholder participation to true partnerships in action.

Whether you live in a rural and remote community with a small population of families or a large urban centre with thousands of potential kitchen table meetings – give voice to families.

Village Raising Question

What happens when service users do not have a voice?

The Parent Conundrum

If you were to draw a village like an archery target, children and parents would be the bulls-eye or the sweet-spot. This is the part of the target that scores the most points and makes the most difference because families are where the next generation starts. They are the units in which the growth and development of independent, contributing citizens occur. So when government and non-profit agencies plan for new policies and new services, it is this population that has the most at stake when decisions are made. The conundrum is how the service providers best engage the service users (families) to inform and influence their decisions. 

How can a group of early years community developers be responsive to a parental perspective that is inclusive of the diversity that exists among families? Families are as different as they come! And they are legitimately wrapped up in their busy lives, trying their best with what they have. It is important to consider how to give families the opportunity to share their thoughts in ways that fit their lives.

In our book, Raising the Village, we offer a list of ideas and considerations to engage families in community early years planning and decision making processes. There is no one way – no cookie-cutter approach.  It is essential that parents (and children for that matter) be given a voice! We want to gather more ideas and strategies that have worked out there around the world.

Here is our list (5 anyway) to get things rolling….

1 – invite all parents to attend all meetings

2 – service providers “be” the parent voice 

3 – select parent representatives or parent champions

4 – formal surveys (written, telephone or online)

5 – focus group research

Village Raising Question:

What has worked for you to meaningfully engage parents (and children) in community early years planning and decision making processes?

Thump, Thump, Thump, Thump...Heart Listening

Paul Born inspired us in last week’s Raising the Village interview when he said “The critical thing today is to listen to our hearts. This may be the most radical thing we can do for children".


Continuing along this community heart trail we decided to share some of our favourite heart-listening quotes. Not only do they align with Paul’s comments, they also help to illuminate caring connections and the working together spirit. Enjoy the heart thumping and please share your favourite quotes with us!

• I think of a gesture of love as anything we do that helps others discover their humanity. Any act where we turn to one another. Open our hearts. Extend ourselves. Listen. Any time we’re patient. Curious. Quiet. Engaged. ~ Margaret Wheatley in the book: turning to one another ~


• It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself...Serve and thou shall be served. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~


• For a community to be whole and healthy, it must be based on people's love and concern for each other. ~ Millard Fuller ~


• The next Buddha may take the form of a community, a community practicing understanding and loving kindness, a community practicing mindful living. This may be the most important thing we can do for the survival of the earth. ~ Thich NHhat Hanh ~


• Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives. ~ Sara Paddison ~


• Our capacity to listen puts us in contact with the wider dimensions of the world in which we live. It lets us connect to it. Listening can open in us a door, a greater sense of participation in the world. ~William Isaacs from the book: dialogue and the art of thinking together ~
  

At Raising the Village we have experienced the power that occurs when people speak from their hearts and engage other people’s hearts. Through shared stories, shared dialogue or shared experiences relationship shifts occur, shared leadership propels and collective relevance between village members is abundant. Engage the heart and you engage community.

Village Raising Question:
Children and families are at the centre of the village – how can we listen to what’s in their hearts? What are they telling us?

Watch for next week’s blog for Village ideas on hearing and engaging families.

How am I doing? How are we doing? ... Questions at the Heart of Community Work

A Raising the Village interview with Paul Born.


Tamarack – An Institute for Community Engagement has been a “go to” resource for us at Raising the Village for many years. We were ecstatic that the director, Paul Born, was able to take the time to answer our newsletter questions. Paul has been on a ten year journey and partnership to advance place based solutions to entrenched problems like poverty. As an author of three books and a person who loves the power of stories, Paul has extensive experience in helping organizations and communities develop collaborative action. His messages are sure to inspire!


1) What aspect of community engagement gets Paul Born fired up?

• Multi sector engagement and action really excite me -when at least three different sectors work together.


• Collective altruism is beautiful - when people work together for the benefit of others fueled by love. It is a time when the giver is also the receiver and the receiver is also the giver. I also feel that the study of collective selfless giving needs a lot more study. The way collective action fuels group - causes energy, healing and belonging.


• Vibrant Communities Canada is at a critical phase. The results are outstanding. Nearly 3,000 organization partner locally, using community engagement strategies have now helped 172,000 families in poverty.
  

2) As an advocate for collaborative action, how do you balance the many agendas that engaged citizens bring forward for attention? Asked another way, how can we honour the complex needs and passions in a community such as; poverty reduction, elder & senior issues, special needs, safety, improving public education, accessible health care, homelessness, child development vulnerability…the list goes on and on!

Do we really need to balance the many agendas of issue based networks or are we best to work at respecting and embracing the passion of each. I have come to the conclusion that most all issues facing communities are interrelated. It seems not to matter what issue you work on you will eventually impact the other. Can you really work at the children’s agenda and not care about poverty, violence or the environment or vice versa. We desire clean and well organized approaches causing us to worry about duplication and focus. What we are learning is that groups can work together and help each other. They do not need to compete. Rather they can embrace the agenda of the other. It would be wise to create a council of networks in a community. If for no other reason to advance the work of networks, build trust and find ways to work together.

3) How can people who are working together in communities with a focus on the early years relate to and participate in the work taking place at Tamarack, Institute for Community Engagement?

• We have a very active web site and tele learning platform. Everything there is free. You can choose from nearly 100 online seminars.


• Vibrant Communities has a large national network. Hamilton is the one city in the network that has specifically made their poverty reduction campaign about children.


• We have so much to learn from your network. Landon Pearson has truly inspired us.


• We would also welcome invitations to come speak at your events and conferences. These often build deeper understanding and can inspire the human spirit. Much joy.
  

4) Tamarack’s mission includes working and learning together to create and realize bold visions for the future. What bold steps must be taken for our societies to make children a priority? Any simple steps?

There are no simple steps or even bold steps required. The critical thing today is to listen to our hearts. This may be the most radical thing we can do for children. If we truly listened to the hearts of Canadians would we tolerate the level of child poverty and violence against children? The work we are called to is not just the work that entails doing. I feel we would be wise in this day of increasing chaos to stop and reflect and do the inner work and ask- How am I doing? How are we doing? This question will open us and will call us to seek healing. Then we can ask the question -How can I help? How can we help? The question of helping must come from a place of a desire for inner healing. These two simple questions have become so important to me. I want to move from knowing what to do to hearing what to do. I want to act from within. As chaos grows - developing the inner compass as Steven Covey called it will be more critical than ever.

5) Tell us about your new book: Seeking Community - Finding Belonging in Chaotic Times

I am writing about a paradox that I find in my own life. I am so busy, have so many people all around me, friends and family and yet I feel this overwhelming loneliness that the community in my life is not sufficient. I want more. I want to feel a sense of belonging and a co identity with others. The book is based on a talk I have given now over 100 times called Seeking the Possibilities of Community. Each time I give this talk I am amazed at the number of people who feel like me.So this book is written as a journey of trying to understand community and belonging in these chaotic times. It invites the reader to join in the journey to engage with me and each other and to ask questions and explore together.

6) What personally brings you a “sense of community”?

• A hug for sure


• A long dinner at a long table with long-time friends.


• Family: my family and my extended family.


• Children - yes children - especially babies. Babies are the strongest of all the human species. The greatest gift is to be able to rock a baby to sleep. They have the power to melt your heart, to dust off those corners where love is dormant, open the shutters and shine light on the soul. I am writing this to you from a plane - I moved seats so a mother could have extra space for her children. The last 3 legs of my trip a baby sat beside me with their mother. Each time the mothers apologized for what they assumed the baby would put me through. It was not long and we were all talking, the babies sitting with me - holding my finger and laughing. I felt so thankful and an empathy within me, not only toward the baby but also the mother and the other passengers. These babies pulled love and altruism right out of me. I felt at peace and a sense that all was right in me and in the world. This is my hope for community that it can help us feel and desire peace.
  
  For amazing community resources and further inspiration go to:
  http://www.tamarackcommunity.ca/ http://www.seekingcommunity.ca/ http://www.paulborn.ca/
  

More about Paul: he was the Executive Director and founder of The Community Opportunities Development Association (CODA) for 12 years, one of Canada’s most successful community economic development organizations where he also founded Opportunities 2000, a millennium campaign to reduce poverty in Waterloo Region to the lowest in Canada, which received the United Nations' Top 40 Projects Worldwide. His work has also been recognized with awards from the Conference Board of Canada, Imagine Canada and the Governor General of Canada.

Rethinking Group Values

www.wordle.net

Facilitators and community developers who work with groups often begin with the task of defining the group’s values. In the room there will be the eye rollers who mutter “good glory, can we just get on with it?” and the reflective eager beavers who are already waving their hands like primary school students wanting to be the first to say “respect, inclusive or honesty.”

Values are attitudes that motivate us to act a certain way. They are based on our ethical standards and are a measure of what is important to us. Values are going to be different for everyone. In a group, the process of defining group values begins to shape the common ground shared among individuals or organizations. This is important when people intend to work together on a project or share resources.

So how do you find the middle ground between the eye rollers and the eager beavers? Here is what NOT to do:

• Bypass the process completely to avoid ruffling feathers
• Skim the surface of the process and quickly gather the “off-the cuff” list of tried and true values that are, out of context, rather meaningless and not a reflection of the whole group
• Get all “existential” on everyone and immerse the group with lectures on ethical hierarchies, morality and anthropological lenses (yikes!)

To get to values that are useful during the course of the group’s work together and not just collect dust on an old flip chart paper or get buried in meeting minutes, try an adaptation of this 30-minute process.

• Let the group know that the next 30 minutes will set the stage for the working relationship of the group.
• Give groups a list of values (make sure there is space for “other”)
• Have people work ALONE, get them to mark the top 3 values that they feel are the most pertinent with the group and the project. To help people get into the value mind-set, ask a few questions such as: What does this group/project stand for? What do you see at the core of this group/project?
• Then work in small groups, have individuals share their 3 values and why they fit. Make note of ones that are the SAME and ones that the group really identifies with.
• Have the small group come to a consensus on the top 3 shared values from this collective list. Use your agreed upon consensus process. (See last weeks blog for more on consensus).
• Have each small group share their list with the whole group. After each presentation, allow time for people to pose questions about how each value relates to the group/project at hand.

For example:

Courage

What does this mean for safety? What are the fears about this project/group that would need courage to overcome them? What is at the essence of courage for you? What does it mean?

• Have individuals work ALONE again and cast a vote for their personal top 3 values.
• Have someone enter all the values into www.wordle.net to see both the collection of values that the group has identified surround the project and the values of highest importance (the top ones will be bigger – but the others won’t be lost).
• Post this, refer to it, and question it often. It can help during the group’s cycle of learning, planning and decision making.

Sometimes the most relevant group values are ones that not everyone understands how they fit at first glance. Through learning about and applying them, meaning emerges as people balance what resonates personally and what “fits” with the group or project.

Village Raising Question:

When was the last time you evaluated your own values?

Group Consensus – Just what I wanted!

“I’m so happy we reached group consensus – our decision is exactly what I wanted.” Stop the Raising the Village bus! Is this truly a statement that reflects a consensus result? Perhaps, but first consider what consensus means to you and the group or community you work with.

Consensus is a process that empowers an understanding between people where there are no individual winners or losers. It is a decision making route where each person may feel fully, partially or maybe not at all reflected in the final decision, however they can see how the decision benefits the “whole” or the larger system (in this case the village).

How do groups reach consensus?

We recommend starting with hearing all participant voices in different ways. This may range from individual reflection time to small and large group discussion. Reaching consensus is not about pushing through votes, being “right”, or campaigning for your personal choice. It can be viewed as an opportunity for you to share your ideas and thoughts…with the chance to then sit back and open yourself up to hear other ideas.

Katrina Shields, a social action leader, describes how to reach consensus in her book In the Tiger’s Mouth. “Consensus requires a group that is willing to work together and trust there is a solution, as well as patience and perseverance. It requires us to come to meetings with our minds not fixed on a particular solution or position; in the light of hearing all the possible positions we may modify ours.”

Shields goes on to describe a step-by-step consensus process: (adapted)

a) The facilitator states the issue clearly and in an unbiased way
b) Discussion is invited, proposals are put forward, no individual dominates
c) A pause for reflective silence is included
d) People are welcomed to share - who agrees and disagrees with proposals (not people)
e) The facilitator states and restates the position of the meeting as it emerges until agreement is reached
f) If agreement is not reached, ask if anyone is willing to “step aside” – they do not agree but accept the decision proceeding. If not, the issue gets tabled to allow more time for individual and group reflection.

In our experiences with groups, we aim to reach consensus by saying… “Let’s talk about it until we can all sleep at night.”

Group consensus can be a tricky process. We recommend these other resources too. The Facilitators Guide to Participatory Decision Making by Sam Kaner or the Quaker model at http://www.earlham.edu/~consense/mats.htm

If you find yourself in group decision-making mode, find a consensus process that works to get a decision made and leaves people feeling satisfied and heard.

Village Raising Question:
In what ways does a consensus making process support shared leadership?

Upcoming in RTV blog: Watch for more on consensus including how to use it to unearth group values.

The Story Behind Powerful Presentations

• Capturing the imagination and hearts of a room full of “suits” is not too much different than that of a group of preschoolers. They can both be prone to wandering attentions, both can be fidgety with a need for action, and both can be hopeful for a “hands on” experience that is worth their while. One difference is that the “suits” can sometimes be less considerate – it is not socially acceptable for a preschooler to tune you out while they check their Blackberry!
  
  Often professionals who are totally immersed in their commitment to social causes forget that not everyone lives and breaths the same issues. For early years community developers, that includes the importance of child development, equitable access to quality childcare, support to families, homelessness etc. Remembering the basics of how to package your information into something that catches and holds tightly the attention of an audience is important.
  
  We appreciate PowerPoint – but it can be done VERY poorly; too much information, bullet points galore, disjointed clip art and/or no flow. Great presentations, with or without the use of visual aids, have stories to tell. Crafting your story has two benefits. It is a way to reflect on what’s going on with a project or in an organization and it is the foundation for a very effective presentation. In his book The Leader’s Guide to Storytelling, author Stephen Denning describes the art of creating and performing a well-made story that can help achieve a number of different outcomes:
  
• Sparking people into action
• Communicating who you are
• Transmitting values
• Sharing information
• Taming gossip
• Fostering collaboration
• Instilling a future vision
  
  There are different nuances that can be applied in the story making for each of these outcomes and different situations require different tactics. Sometimes we have a presentation to do and have 15 minutes to try to accomplish ALL of these things! Other times we have more flexibility and luxury in the design. Regardless of your presentation, here are the essentials to make sure there is a powerful story behind it.

1. Be very clear with yourself what you want to get from the presentation. For example if you are seeking some change - what exactly is the change idea you want to get across? Why? What's the purpose? If you can answer these questions for yourself before you try to change the world in 15 minutes - you will be much more effective.

2. Include a context for the story that speaks to all the senses. It’s the sights, sounds and perhaps even smells that can evoke emotions for people during a story/presentation. Use adjectives and adverbs – not to be flowery but to emphasize the key bits of detail that paints a strong picture.

3. Design your flow to include a beginning, middle and end to the story. You can help make this happen by limiting yourself to NO MORE THAN 3 messages in your story. More than that and you can easily become fragmented and hard to follow.

4. Be honest – to your audience and also to yourself. Any hints of exaggerations, untruths or a false lack of vulnerability will lower your credibility with the audience.

5. Practice, practice, practice. A story can be read – but its ultimate delivery will be that of a performance. A practiced story makes it easier for you to be relaxed and allows you to be more spontaneous with the audience. It will show that you KNOW this material, that you CARE about the content, and that it is something worth committing to memory – and for the audience, something worth paying attention to.


Village Raising Question

What are the three most important messages you want someone to know about your work? Now…where is the story to make these messages come alive?

Creating An Elephant Friendly Zone.

If given the choice would you choose six big or six small elephants? Your response may depend on whether you are recruitment staff for a circus or safari expedition or thinking of elephants in the meeting room. Many of us have heard, and may have even used, the phrase elephants in the room -the issues, comments, questions or topics that people don’t want to say out loud for various reasons. Perhaps words are unspoken due to perceived conflict, a clash of personalities, or a moment of self doubt in your own knowledge and power. Essentially elephants are THINGS NOT SAID.

So what does the size of elephants have to do with anything? A colleague of ours once asked us if we would choose six big or six small elephants. She said- there is always going to be elephants but we can decide on the size of the elephant. The bigger the elephants the less space in the room. We couldn’t agree more (thanks Cathy). Now take a moment to literally picture elephants increasing in size before your very eyes. If elephants are not spoken and instead given time to grow in size – how would people move in a room? How would people feel free and open to focus and concentrate on the important work of Raising the Village?

The objective is NOT to have an “elephant free zone” but to create a small elephant friendly zone if you will. Decreasing the size of elephants can be supported by the group facilitator AND the group.

Responsibility of the facilitator(s) is to:

• be aware of when energy changes in the room, watch for change in body language
• acknowledge what is witnessed and bring it out in the room for clarity
• speak the unspoken question or concern
• guide the conversation with an open principle
• provide various ways for elephants to cleanse themselves (i.e. provide a written evaluation sheet asking participants to share any elephants, posting a sheet on the meeting room wall, or maybe it’s repeated use of the language and concept – given that the concept lands well with the group).
  

Responsibility of the participant’s is to:

• speak directly to any personal elephants – issues and feelings- rather than “side talk” or after meeting talk. Bring those elephants forth- you’ll be amazed at how “speaking your truth” in an open way benefits the whole group.
• voice any elephants they notice herding in the room
• ask for a process to bring up elephants in the room
• celebrate those that speak up – see their opinions as value-added to the group growth

Village Raising Question:
Creating an elephant friendly zone takes courage, insight, and perhaps a desire to walk on the “wild side”. What are your ideas for welcoming elephants into the room?

Early Years Community Developers as Linchpins

Over the past 5 years, attention and funding directed towards the early years has gone up and down and around like an awkwardly executed cartwheel. Whether we are on our feet, tail over teakettle or suspended in mid-flight, there are people passionate and committed to keep the early years momentum alive.

We call these individuals Early Years Community Developers. They are people who know that quality investments in the lives of young children have huge payoffs now and far into the future. Sometimes these people feel demoralized by the lack of value attributed to this work locally, nationally and globally. It can feel (like our hero Dr. Clyde Hertzman describes) that we are going up a down escalator.

What if Early Years Community Developers took a linchpin view in order to respond to life’s on-going cartwheels or the up and down escalator rides? Seth Godin’s describes linchpins as people that our world needs more of and who are indispensable, not cogs in a wheel and not easily replaceable. He suggests that typical linchpin contributions are to:

o Over deliver results – to be generous
o Contribute emotional labour – to be enthusiastic
o Connect more people with more ideas – to be constructive
o Find the things that motivate you to do your best work – to be remarkable.


Generosity can help us to reframe events such as funding cuts and organizational changes. As we give generously of our time, expertise and passion to communities, the value, recognition and respect for the potential of the early years will only grow.

Our enthusiasm will result in an increase in creativity, flexibility and innovation. This will be infectious within communities, among our colleagues and into the homes of families.

We can be constructive by becoming more proactive and less reactive to situations. Creating a future where children are honoured is at stake – we want to be in the drivers seat.

Being remarkable is about having our efforts add value to the early years sector – and making a bigger difference is what we are all about!



Village Raising Question:
What are your strengths that have not yet been fully contributed that would make you a linchpin?

Raising Socially Responsible Kids - Interview with Dr. Michael Ungar

Dr. Michael Ungar

Our local school district hosted a book club during the time we were writing Raising the Village. The book chosen was The We Generation: Raising Socially Responsible Kids by Michael Ungar, Ph.D.  The book, and more importantly the conversation that it inspired had us listing Dr. Ungar as someone we really wanted to learn more from.  The concepts informed and challenged some of our thinking about families. He is the author of 9 books and more than 70 articles and book chapters. He has practiced for over 25 years as a Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist with children and families in child welfare, mental health, educational and correctional settings. Now a University Research Professor, and Professor at the School of Social Work, at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Canada, he leads an international team of resilience researchers that spans more than a dozen countries on six continents. In addition to his research and writing interests, Dr. Ungar maintains a small family therapy practice for troubled children, youth and their families. He lives in Halifax with his partner and their two teenaged children.



As of this post, Dr. Ungar is hosting an international conference on resiliency in Nova Scotia - with over 550 delegates from around the world. He was gracious enough to fit some time in with us to share some of his thoughts that were most related to early years community development.

 How do families and community members communicate value and a sense of belonging to children? What types of connections do children need that families and communities could consider?  

(Ungar) Children are more likely to think “We” when provided with homes, communities, and schools that make connections easier. I see this happening all around the world. In the worst, most violent communities, I’ve seen school principals who greet all their students by name and make them feel like they belong at school rather than installing metal detectors at the school doors. I’ve seen families move from sprawling suburbs to denser urban housing because it’s safer! And their child can actually make a contribution to the family by going and buying a litre of milk at a store that is close enough to walk to. Of course, suburbs and large homes aren't necessarily bad. But when we provide our children homes, schools and communities that ask nothing of them—that allow them to    think "Me" instead of "We"—that’s when we get into big trouble. We need to create a world around our children that makes it easy for them to learn how to give back to others. I’ve met families who have a lot of advantages, but still want their children to avoid the perils of selfishness. They:

1. Put younger kids in daycare at least half a day a week to help them learn how to socialize
2. Downsize their homes so people interact more (they have one family room instead of three!).
3. They make sure their homes are places their children’s friends feel comfortable dropping in.
4. They encourage their children to attend a neighborhood school so they can feel a part of their community.
5. They give their children chores that make them feel a part of their families. They don't pay them to do them either, but instead expect children to participate as full members of their households.

Early Years Community Development has a strong prevention focus. What do you suspect makes the most difference at a community level to prevent children and youth from becoming at risk? Given the importance of children having multiple relationships with many adults, how can parents and caregivers find suitable, safe adults to be in their children's lives?

(Ungar) As I pointed out in an earlier book, Too Safe for their Own Good: How Risk and Responsibility Help Teens Thrive, our children today are actually much safer from sexual exploitation than a generation ago. Fewer children are being abused, and fewer children kidnapped. Having relationships with safe adults is something parents should encourage their children to do. Of course, we still need to teach children how to assess situations. Ask your child, “How does it feel when you are with _____?” If a child never has an experience with other adults, then how will he ever learn to know how to talk to strangers, keep himself safe, or behave in different social situations? Having no contact with other adults actually puts children more, not less, at risk later in their lives!

There are lots of interesting adults for our children to encounter. Our extended families are full of colorful characters. Then there’s coaches and teachers, most of whom now go through rigorous checks to ensure they are safe. If we are part of a religion, there’s spiritual leaders too, many of whom now are trained in how to appropriately be with children in order to avoid the mistakes of the past. Still worried about sexual predators, especially on the web? Be sure your child’s computer is somewhere you can monitor what they are doing and have open frank discussion s about what can happen on line.

Many people/parents wish for a more intimate, village-like childhood for children, but it is often not possible. How can parents and communities create a village-like childhood for children?

(Ungar) If you have to drive your child everywhere, you are facing an uphill battle creating a village-like atmosphere for your child. What I’ve learned from children with whom I do research around the world is that a child who can navigate her way around her community is the child who feels connected. I don’t mean a child who is left alone and unwatched. I mean a child who can go get a jug of milk at the store, or who can walk to school (where it is safe to do so). The children who survive best can do these things. They know how to get around their communities.

You can help your child by living in places where there is denser housing. Not possible? Then be sure you child is enrolled in activities with other children. Better yet, get your child to volunteer and help others in their community. I’m also a big fan of sleepovers for children because of the many things children learn when they are away from home. Meet the other child’s parents, then encourage your spend the night. It will teach your child to trust other adults, and even better, how to behave in new situations. Don't be surprised if your child returns home feeling a little more independent.

June is recognized as Senior's month in many communities. Given that elders play an important role in "raising the village" what are some ways grandparents and senior's can contribute to the nurturing and sense of belonging that children need?

(Ungar) The advantages of knowing our grandparents, or an elder in our community, is the sense of place it gives us. For children, a grandparent’s stories give a sense of continuity between the past and the present. They tell the child where he belongs. Strangely, I see grandparents that are being valued far more in other countries than my own. If your child does have a grandparent (or an elderly person who can be a grandparent substitute, like an older uncle, or family friend), be sure to have your child visit, or even better, have your child do an activity with them. My own daughter has spent afternoons cooking with her grandmother. And my son has travelled to see his grandfather just to get help with a special woodworking project he had underway. I meet other families that encourage lots of contact between generations. It’s a win-win situation for everyone. Parents get a break. Kids get a sense of where they come from and the values that are important in life. And grandparents are told they are valued and have something to offer this next generation. Somewhere in that mix of interactions our children are sure to learn how to think "We".

check out Dr. Ungar’s website:

http://www.michaelungar.com/

Book Club (should be on Oprah!)

A diverse collection of women, great food, fantastic conversation - a successful book club event.

Interested in hosting a book club of your own?

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www.raisingthevillage.ca